Hope

On February 2nd it had been one month since the loss of Lia Rose. It was a Monday and I was at work. It was a pretty difficult day. I went through the motions of the day and tried to hold it together the best that I could. The week was not shaping up to be much better. I just had one bad day after another, it was awful. On Friday I had to stay late for a movie night at work. I was a mess, the tears didn't want to stop that afternoon. You sometimes feel that you can't possibly cry anymore tears because there couldn't be any more left. There always are and the often come when you least expect them.
The tears kept coming that afternoon and I asked John to meet me for dinner because I just really needed to see him. I had been in and out of my rooms at least 20 times that afternoon. I just couldn't stay focused. I felt like a kid with ADD. When I was leaving for dinner I saw this little silver thing on the floor. I picked it up and it was a charm from a necklace or bracelet. Nothing fancy just a little oval, but on it was the word "hope." I sat down and started to cry as I looked out of the window into the sky and said "thank you."
I believe that was my sign from my baby girl Lia Rose. It was a sign that she was doing just fine up there in heaven and also that John and I were going to be o.k. She sent us hope, something that we both needed desperately. I continue to hold on to that hope the best that I can, although, I do keep asking her to send me some more. At dinner I showed the charm to John and through tears told him the story. With a smile through tears I told him that we were going to be o.k, and I know that we will be as hard as it is to believe sometimes.
I believe that I will always be connected to Lia Rose and that signs will be there for me in times when I need them the most. She is with me all the time and a part of me is with her. She is our guardian angel, our daughter, in heaven who will watch over us for the rest of our lives.