I was listening to a Christina Aguilera, yes you read it correctly, CD in the car and the song "I Turn to You" came on. It made me cry, not because it reminded me of Lia Rose, but because it reminded me of John. He has been part of my strength through this and really helping me through. The lyrics are:
"I Turn To You" Christina Aguilera
When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
- pushing me to the top.
You're always there,
giving me all you've got.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing,
'Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
taking me through the night
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
For the arms to be my shelter
through all the rain,
For truth that will never change,
For someone to lean on,
For a heart I can rely on through anything,
For that one who I can run to...
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
I turn to you...
I thought...how appropriate that it is pouring rain as I listened to it. I know that we will get through this because we have each other. We have the love and support of family and friends. When something like this happens it often drives couples apart, but it has made us even closer. He often knows what I am thinking before I even say it and that is more prevalent now than it was before. He is truly amazing and I could not and would not want to go through this with anyone else by my side. Through the miscarriage and the surgery he has been there doing whatever I need and ask, always supportive...no questions asked.I will never forget having to make the phone call to him in the hospital telling him that we lost our baby. Thinking oh God...he has to drive here at 2 in the morning by himself...please just let him make it there. From the moment I called him til the moment he walked in the door I could think about nothing else other than him getting there. He walked in a saw me and said "I just hoped you had a nightmare." I truly wish that I did and that I could have woken up and everything was fine and he was just sitting next to me. We were strong together and we will continue to be strong together. We have to be, we have no choice.
In the hospital he had to sign the form for my second surgery. You sign off on the paperwork and think this is just a formality I am not going to have to make any decisions. I needed to go in for the second surgery and he had to sign off on it. He turned to me after getting off the phone with the urologist and said, "Do you want me to sign this?" I thought to myself...no...I want to lay here bleeding and said "YES!" I think that he never thought in a million years that he would have sign that paper. I am really glad that he did though.
I am very thankful have him in my life!
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