Sunday, July 19, 2009

Newborn-Morgan Taylor

Our friends Leslie and Jody are having a baby. Leslie was due on August 9th. They had the floors done in their house and we had them stay with us. She was due in three weeks, her baby shower was yesterday. We went to bed on Friday night at about 1AM. At about 2AM, I was woken up by a strange man walking into our bedroom who looked like he was going to strangle me. I screamed quite loud until I figured out that it was Jody. He was there to tell us that Leslie's water had broken and that they were going to the hospital, but couldn't lock our door. It was really quite a funny situation. I thought that it wasn't her water really breaking, well sure enough, it really was and she delivered a healthy baby girl on July 18th, the day of her baby shower. She was three weeks early.

Today John and I went to the hospital to see them. I cried in the car on the way there, and I cried when we got there. We stayed for a while, and I thought about Lia Rose much of the time that I was there. I kept it together, and then, I did something I was not sure if I would be able to do. I held Morgan Taylor, all 6 lbs 12 oz. of her and thought, this should have been me last month. I cried, but through those tears I once again could see the beauty of the moment. It was a difficult thing for me to do, but I did it. Morgan is beautiful, and I feel that longing to have a baby of my own to hold. The sheer joy on Leslie and Jody's faces is amazing. I cannot wait to be there. I want to be a mother to a child on this earth. I know that Lia Rose would want that too.

I am proud of myself. I suppose it is another step in the healing process. Jody and Leslie were great too. I think that they understood how difficult it was for me even just to be there. I didn't even know if I could really do it until I walked into that room.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


This weekend I went to the Great South Bay Music Festival. It was a great time, good music and good people. I did run into some friends, but the significant one is a friend of mine that goes back to kindergarten. He is a kind soul and so is his wife. The part that was tough was that his wife was pregnant when I was pregnant, she actually had the same due date that I did. She had the baby on May 29th, a little boy. I saw him this weekend and it was tough. I just kept thinking to myself, that is what Lia would have looked like. That is how tiny her feet and hands would be. He was adorable and I did better than I thought that I would. She was so sensitive to me and tried to stay back with the baby. I told her that I was really ok. I almost asked to hold him, but I didn't know if I could.

It was in a way nice to see what Lia could have looked like, and what size she might have been.