Sunday, May 3, 2009

It is a gift

I am sitting here thinking that people sometimes are not grateful for what they have. It is so frustrating hearing and seeing people complain about the things that they have. They just don't realize how fortunate they are.

My due date is one month from tomorrow. I am sure that if I were pregnant now, I may not be the happiest camper and I would probably be getting pretty nervous, but having been through what I have, I am going to attempt to enjoy my next pregnancy as much as I can. As long as I can get around the being terrified part!

It is a gift. So many people do not realize this at all. We have no control over what happens to the life that is growing inside of us. We can do all the right things and be so careful and it still may not work out despite our best efforts. It is truly an amazing gift and I wish that I could have experienced it without losing that innocence and excitement, but that is lost now. I know that I am going to have to remind myself to be happy, not because of anything else except that I will be scared.

I can't imagine anything that I want more than to have a family. I would be so thankful if this experience never happened to me again. I would be even more thankful if it never had to happen to anyone. I wish that more people could understand even if they have not been there, but it is next to impossible. The feeling is indescribable. There is a piece of me that is with Lia Rose in heaven and I am sure that she has left a piece of her with me.

I go forward this month with a heavy heart, but with hope for the future. I know that I can do it as difficult as it may seem. I will get through and be a stronger person for it.

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