Monday, March 2, 2009

The Service

We knew from the moment that this happened that we would bury our baby. Apparently we did not have to because at 18 weeks it is not required. After 20 weeks it is, but we held our baby and knew that she needed a "home." John had done much of the arrangements although there were not a lot of decisions to make. We had to figure out what to bury or tiny baby girl in. We were told it couldn't be too bulky because the "casket" was so small. My parents had given us a white baby blanket with a cross on it that we thought would be perfect and it was.
On January 10th we drove to the cemetery for the service. As we were driving there it was snowing these gigantic snowflakes. I was concerned about the weather and people not being there. A friend had told me to think of the snow like tiny feathers of angels wings carrying our baby girl to heaven. I did just that, now when it snows, especially those big fluffy snowflakes, it makes me think of our baby girl Lia Rose.
I was overwhelmed that day. I knew that I had to be as strong as I could, but I felt like I was falling apart on the inside. I was surrounded by friends and family. It was truly amazing that all of these people came out to support us. The service was perfect, it was short, but I felt a sense of peace when it was over. I knew that she had been blessed and people cared enough about us and her to share the most difficult day of my life with me.
We invited people back to our house and it was really good to be surrounded by people who cared. We were able to talk about our experience and share the picture we have of our baby girl. I knew she was in gods hands, but I still couldn't help wishing she was in ours. I missed her so much!

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